Thursday, 20 August 2015

How to Adapt to Change in your Relationship

I never paid close attention to the word "change"until recently, when it's being used continuously. It became a household name that even children sing rhyme with the word. 

Now, what really is change? It is doing something differently. It is something that takes us out of our comfort zone. You must be flexible to adapt to change and it eventually makes you a better person. Change happens anytime and anywhere. It happens in the workplace, in governance, in school at home even in a relationship. 
Just imagine something suddenly changes in your relationship, how would you react to such change?

Everyone wants a good relationship —it’s something that makes us happy, healthy, and most productive. But supportive and fulfilling relationships don’t come automatically. They take social skills that can be learnt as well as an investment in time and energy.
1. Recognize that change does happen

When we were children, we thought, acted, and spoke like children. When we became adults, though, we put childish ways behind us and behave like adults. Our own personal lives change as we grow older. Why should we pretend things will always be fine? Denying that change will occur only make things more difficult. Once it happens, it's better to quickly adjust to the new reality and move on. 

2. Be aware of your surroundings

Like I said earlier, change could come when you least expected. Once you notice your environment is not what it used be, observe, listen and be watchful. Then move with the trend. It might not be so easy I admit but it's better you live with the new reality except if it's a violent change. 
3. Recognize the stages
Because reactions to change resemble those to annoucement of unpleasant news. The early stages include shock and denial (refusing to believe what has happened and instead believing everything will be all right), guilt (at not having done or said more or for not being the decedent), and anger (at the decedent or at God).Later, one passes through the stages of acceptance (acknowledging what has happened) and moving on.

All the stages don't necessarily occur. The progression might not be a smooth linear one, and different amounts of time may be involved with the different stages. Regardless, the quicker you get to the acceptance and moving on stages, the better it will be for you
4. Communicate with others
Communications is always important, but especially so when you face change. A lack of communications from others can have a negative impact, while effective communications can have a positive one. From a purely pragmatic standpoint, you need details about the change, so that you can determine how it affects you. Don't just sit back and wait for things to happen. Talk to your partner to get his/her understanding.

Part of the fear of change involves dealing with the unknown. If possible, try to minimize this factor by talking to others who have undergone such a change. The difficulties they experienced and how they dealt with them? How can you adapt their experiences to your own situation? 
Your communications should involve more than just your partner. Communicate with experienced people who can guide you appropriately. They might have experienced the same change, so their advice has value. 
5. Do a self assessment

It is always very important to do a self check at intervals. Where do you need to improve? By understanding your own strengths and weaknesses, and knowing as much as you can about the new situation, you have a better chance of finding a place to fit in.
6. Be Flexible

Change requires flexibility. The better you are able to adapt to change, the greater your chances of being successful. After you complete your self-assessment, take a look at the requirements of the new situation. Maybe your attitude doesn't fit exactly into the relationship anymore or there is something you just need to fix. 

7. See the big picture

Every successful person has a story to tell, just the same way every successful relationship has it's trying times. The most important thing is the goal, the big picture. 

Keep your eyes on the reasons why you are in the relationship no matter the hurdles you have to jump. 

Change can be frightening, and disruptive. However, with the right attitude and actions, you can find opportunities in that change.
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