The “heart of the matter” is this – successfully married couples report a high level of satisfaction with the way they communicate. They talk about everything and anything with each other—there are “No Sacred Cows.” Great couples attribute their marital success first and foremost to the fact that they have honed their communication skills over time.
So, here are some key points to note as advised by Dr Charles D Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A Schmitz with over 30years of counseling couples.
1. Effective communication in marriage always begin with proper engagement and in a proper context. Talking about serious matters cannot occur effectively when dealing with chaos around the house, such as a blaring television, crying baby, generator noise etc. Try to move to a quiet environment or perhaps at night when there will be less or no distraction.
2. There is proper etiquette to follow in effective communication. Lower your voices, speak in a calm manner, make eye contact, listen intently and seek clarification if you don’t understand. Refrain from blaming, accusing, calling names, making nasty remarks or getting defensive.
3. Discussions about serious issues must always begin with agreement about what the issues really are. Work to identify the issues, establish the parameters of the discussion, and agree to solve the problems together.
4. A fruitful conversation about important matters always begin with the brainstorming of ideas. It is important to get your respective ideas out on the table. Talk about the relative strengths and weaknesses of each. Agree on ideas worth exploring and prover solutions there and there.
5. Never be judgmental when debating issues with your spouse. Instantly passing judgment on an idea is usually the death of open and honest debate between two people. Be a good listener and pay attention to details.
Remember, little things matter in love and marriage. So please take a cue from these 5 effective communication tips listed above, I am sure you won’t regret doing so.